Reno Hell

So back in the spring, my husband and I decided we were going to renovate our kitchen. When looking for contractors, we clearly specified that the room MUST be done by the end of September. A couple of people said the timing was too tight or seemed flaky with their answers. This was one of the utmost important criteria in picking a company so we went with someone who guaranteed our work would be done on time. I repeat the word -GUARANTEED.

Well it is now 2 weeks from my due date and our kitchen is not done. Our contractor has been fabulous but the delay comes from our cabinet maker. First there was a 2 week delay and now another week.

I am officially Pregzilla.


On a bright note, things are clearly  progressing (no thanks to our cabinet maker). This is what our kitchen looked like 2.5 weeks ago during demolition

and this is what our kitchen looks like now

People like to assure me that  I won't be cooking during the first few days/weeks of the baby coming home. Ok I'll buy that but I am certain that most people can make a cup of coffee in their kitchen or perhaps even wash their hands in the sink. You see that black pipe in the lower right hand corner of the picture. Uh ya. That's where my sink is NOT.

The other thing that most people forget is that we used to have a kitchen. I have kitchen things. And where are all these kitchen things being stored you might ask? In every crevice of my house! The entire basement carpet has not seen the light of day because it is covered in boxes. The dining room table is in the living room, the new appliances are stacked in the dining room. Basically our house is one giant mess. This does not bode well with my newly acquired nesting instinct (it's not an old wives tale). I want to clean all day, every day.

So my days are spent doing things I can still do, like running errands and doing laundry. I am trying to stay sane by keeping the upstairs portion of our house clean.

At some point during the day I inevitably think about how lucky I am to be having a baby so soon. In fact, just the other day I was driving and Shawn Desman's "a night like this" came on the radio and I had tears in my eyes thinking about how miraculous my daughter's birth is going to be. Yup. Shawn freakin Desman (AKA one hit one wonder Rockin in the T-dot) made me cry. Clearly my hormones are completely screwed up.

The next hour I was swearing like a trooper as we received another vague, non-committal email from our cabinet maker.

So that sums me up these days. I do laundry, get sentimental about Princess Bean's impending birth and bitch about my cabinet maker.

I am 38 weeks today and the race is on. Will baby or new kitchen arrive first?

Stay tuned to find out.

Hasn’t hit me yet (nothing to do with Blue Rodeo’s song but who doesn’t like to dream about Jim Cuddy’s sexy voice from time to time)

Tomorrow is my last day of work before maternity leave starts. Well technically before my sick leave starts and then maternity leave but I’m not getting wrapped up in details. Tomorrow is my last day of work-FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR!


Ok. So it’s not like I have been working for 40 years and am taking my retirement tomorrow. Still, it feels friggin amazing. I have been working full time for over 6 years now and prior to that, I was working part time and/or in school for pretty much my entire life.

I am by no means disillusioned though. I realise that I am essentially trading in one job for a completely different one. For one entire year, my sole job will be to take care of princess bean. Some people say that being a mom is the hardest job in the world. I guess I will soon find out. For years we study, take tests and pass interviews to advance ourselves in the corporate world and yet here I am, about to start the hardest job in the world and there is not a single test required. Nobody has taken even a glance at my C.V nor called any of my references. There is no training before the start of this new employment. I guess it's sink or swim.

So ready or not, my last day of work (as I know it) is tomorrow. At this point, I don’t want to hear from the naysayers. I only want to hear the good things about my new job. I understand that with any job, there are tough moments. There are moments where you think you are not right for this job and want to quit, moments where you want to pull your hair out and heck, even moments where you do pull your hair out.

Right now though, I am in that bubble like state of a person who just landed a promotion. In a couple of months, watching the snow fall on a cold December night (sing it Jim!), as I cuddle my baby girl by the fireplace, I will not miss the daily grind of my former job. This new job of mine sounds pretty sweet.

She's HOW big?

So last week a friend of mine delivered her baby at 35.5 weeks. She had a very rare condition known as vasa previa in which some of the umbilical cord vessels are unsupported and lie at the base of the birth canal. Essentially, there is a very high infant mortaltity rate if this condition goes unidentified until labour. If a woman goes into labour with this condition, these blood vessels with rupture, causing the baby to lose blood extremely quickly. Thankfully, she was diagnosed early enough and her beautiful girl arrived safe and sound via C-section....just a little bit earlier than planned.

When my husband and I went to visit  them at the hospital ,we of course took the opportunity to hold the baby. My husband remarked how tiny her features were (probably because most babies in his family are 10 pounders but that's another story!). He was also looking back and forth between my belly and our friend's baby. As it is, I am now 35.5 weeks along and my little bean is the same size if not a bit bigger than the baby. It was a cute moment. He could actually visualise just how big princess bean is.

A real live baby...truly a much better indication than what some websites provide as an example. Apparently at 35 weeks our daughter is as heavy as a honeydew melon..approx. 5.25 lbs and 18 inches in length.

By next week she will be the size of a Crenshaw Melon

Whatever the hell that is!...

The E word

Lately, I’ve been getting asked about how I envision my labour to go. I talk about labour in our pre-natal class and of course among my many friends who are also expecting. The truth is, everyone’s labour experience is so different. It seems that no matter how much you plan, you can never be truly prepared. Perhaps the motto should be-Be prepared for the unexpected! Most people ask if I am planning to have an epidural. I feel like this is a trick question at times. Like no matter what answer I give, I risk being judged. If I say no, then I’m labelled as some crazy hippie lady who has clearly never been through labour and is trying to prove something. If I say yes (GIVE ME THE DRUGS!!!) then I am labelled as someone who is not tough and is going to willingly prolong my labour and not have a ''natural'' birth.


In fact, this subject comes up in nearly every single pre-natal class in spite of the fact that we are already on class 5 discussing post-partum and breastfeeding. The one thing that amuses me (read: I want to smack the smug look of their faces) is that it’s mainly the MEN who are opposed to medicated births. There are 7 couples in the class (including me and my husband and a couple who are very good friends of ours). Of the 7 men, there are 3 of them who adamantly shake their head from side to side whenever we talk about the big bad word EPIDURAL. When our instructor told us that our hospital has an 85% epidural rate, they stared in disgust stating things like:

'' How is that safe? Getting an epidural seems like overkill!’’

'' Why would you risk your health? Can’t you become paralysed?’’

''It’s not natural.’’

It’s not to say that men cannot have opinions on the subject but I find it inappropriate for them to judge women in the class who want to get as much information as possible on their labour options. Using medication during birth is a personal choice. Women have different coping mechanisms and certainly different pain thresholds.

So my answer is this. I plan on using many coping skills I have learned until the pain becomes too great. At that point, I am quite open to an epidural if it will give my body and mind a chance to rest in preparation for pushing and the after birth.

So to buddy with the bad comb-over in my Wednesday night class-I resent the fact that you tell us women that having an epidural is not natural. I respect the fact that you want an un-medicated birth so please respect others. Heaven forbid your wife should realise she’s in excruciating pain and ask for some drugs. Will you flash her an arrogant smirk saying ‘’NO. That is not natural’’?

I guess I didn't realise that you are in charge of her body.

Time Machine

I used to always say things like ''I can’t wait until next month. I wish we could just skip through September’’. It would drive my mother nuts. She’d tell me that I should appreciate the moment and to stop wishing my life away. She made an excellent point of course but there are times in your life when you are sitting at work, completely unmotivated (yes like right now) wishing it was Friday at 5pm.


I am currently 34 weeks and 2 days into my pregnancy and anxiously counting down the days (40 to go) until our little princess bean is due. That being said, she may choose to come early or even a few days late. P bean-if you are listening..please don’t try to come late ok? Early is fine but not too early since daddy and I are renovating the kitchen. I’ll keep you posted.

People love to tell a pregnant lady to relax and that the baby will come when she/he is good and ready. I am by no means wishing for a preemie baby but let me just say that with 5 ½ weeks left to go, I feel ready. It’s not so much that I am completely fed up of being pregnant but rather that I cannot wait to meet my daughter. That being said, pregnancy does drag on. I feel more exhausted by the day and sometimes wish for a forklift to flip me from side to side in bed.

Whenever you are eagerly awaiting something, the days tend to drag on. I guess that’s the way life is. So on occasion, I give myself a boost and enter the time machine A.K.A. the dollar store. The dollar store is a great place to shop if you too find yourself wishing away September or heck, even an entire season. In July, there were harvest decorations out. By August, cheap plastic Halloween masks and battery operated spooky sound machines filled the shelves. While I haven’t been to the dollar store in the last few weeks, I have noticed Christmas paraphernalia popping up at craft stores. These aisles of cheaply mass manufactured crap bring a little smile to my face, reminding me of just how close I really am and just how far we’ve come.

It’s hard to believe that I am now 27.5 weeks along. My belly has been expanding at an alarming rate. No seriously. My doctor told me I gained 8 lbs in the last 4 weeks. Talk about an OMG moment on the scale. She then politely joked that the scale might be wrong. HA! Nice attempt to question my guilt about eating all those desserts while on vacation.


At the end of the day, I am healthy and so is the baby and that’s all that matters.

I have actually really been enjoying pregnancy so far. There are always a few uncomfortable moments but overall I must be lucky because I feel pretty good. Over the past few weeks/months I have definitely learned some things I did not know about being pregnant and some which I suspected but have come as a nice surprise anyways.

1. People LOVE to help a pregnant lady.

This is a fact I am slowly getting used to. Strangers hold doors often; colleagues carry things for you; people on the street smile at the belly. Just the other month, we had a small but significant earthquake in the area. I think 10 people must have asked me how I was feeling. Is the baby ok? Do you need to sit down? Can I get you some water? I don’t like feeling dependent on the kindness of strangers or even friends but some days I think ‘’Meh the hell with this. You’re right. I am growing a human in my belly so sure...you can lift my 7 lb grocery bag since you insist.’’

2. People bring you food.

This could be grouped in with number one but I think it deserves special mention. After all, this is probably why my scale tells me I have been gaining 2 lbs per week! People also love to use the line that I am eating for 2. Well technically I’m not but it depends on what you’re offering. White chocolate cheesecake with raspberry syrup? Did I tell you I am having triplets? Better make that a thick slice please.

3. Darkening of the areolas.

Back when we were just trying, I read this as a symptom of pregnancy. I am sure there are countless women out there (myself included) who stared at their breasts in the bathroom mirror after showering wondering if their period might come late because suddenly their nipples got darker. Let me just say that when this happens, the symptom is not so subtle. It makes sense physiologically-baby needs to have a visual target of its food source. In that case, perhaps my little bean is going to be visually impaired.

4. Pregnancy slows you down considerably.

I was by no means super fit before getting pregnant but I went to the gym, ate sensibly and was well within my normal BMI. Just the other day after going for an hour long walk on vacation, I felt exhausted. My lower back ached and I needed to sit down. It’s incredible to think of all the changes taking place inside my body. I think my stomach is somewhere jacked up against my ribs by this point. As much as I want to accomplish a million tasks my body is telling me to slow down.

5. Extra hair and other non-sexy things.

Maybe I had read about the darkening of the areolas but nobody ever mentioned any other skin discolorations. I am learning that women with darker or an olive skin tone like me may notice these changes more. Suddenly my armpits look like they have not been washed in a month. What’s up with that? How does the darkening of my armpits contribute to the health of my baby? The answer is that it serves no purpose other than to make me sweat off the summer in T-shirts instead of evil tanks tops.

Also, a few weeks ago, a pregnant friend of mine told me that her belly was getting covered in tiny dark hairs. She read that as the baby was growing hair, our bodies were overcompensating with the responsible hormone. GROSS. I was proud to say that MY belly was still void of dark hairs and the ever dreaded stretch marks. The only thing  my belly has to bare is the other lovely skin discoloration known as the linea nigra. No sooner than I was thanking my lucky stars, I noticed a ton of blonde peach fuzz growing on my jaw. My husband was actually the one to point out my ''new beard''. Thanks hun. Love you too!

Just in time for the world cup!

It is with great certainty that I felt (not just gas) princess bean kick today. Her movements since have been sporadic at best but usually at the end of the day when I lie down and press on my belly I can feel her. I have also felt what I think were baby hiccups. It is such an amazing feeling to feel our little girl move.