2013

I seem to have left off here back in April . I think it`s because everything that came after my IUI trigger sucked. At a certain point I just got so fed up of TTC and the waiting to cycle, the cycling, the follow ups and the heartache that I blocked it from my brain for weeks on end.

So here are the cole`s notes of what went down in 2012

April-My hubby went to the clinic to provide his donation on the morning of the IUI and we headed out for breakfast while they washed his sperm. My tea hadn`t even arrived when we got the call informing us that there was not even enough sperm to wash and they recommended we cancel entirely. The only thing I could think of was the fact that i would ovulate 3 eggs later that morning and that there was no point of even `doing ìt` that night since anything we had been saving up was now in a sterile cup at the clinic. Nonetheless we did, and my period arrived a week early...just for fun and to mindF*&K me.

May-follow up appointment otherwise known as the WTF appointment. Dr. suggests IUI is probably not a good option for us and we should go back to IVF. Gee ya think? I had my doubts all along but allowed myself to get roped into the IUI decision. All I could think about was how annoyed I was to have messed up my spring and now we had planned a trip in july so we would not be able to proceed with IVF until the fall.

June-Upon recommendation from my Dr., my AMH (Anti-Müllerian hormone) tests came back at 14.8 indicating that i have decreased ovarian reserve. Another present I didn't ask for on this rollercoaster.

July-Banked sperm upon recommendation from our Dr. after fear instilled in us that we would not have enough sperm for ICSI. Day of freezing we got 27 straws and a count of 15 million/ml. That's $500 we will never get back.
Took a trip. Triedto forget about it all.

August-Day 1 called in. Back on the IVF/ICSI train.. We moved this month and our daughter started a new daycare. From the beginning  I felt a bit stressed about the timing of this all but September is quiet at work and a good time to cycle.

September-Stimming begins and due to increased meds we got12 eggs, 9 mature, 7 fertilized and on September 24th, we transfered a "perfect" 5AA (best grading the clinic gives blastocyst). On September 30th I had light spotting. I caved thinking it might be implantation and got a faint +on a HPT. The next morning my spotting turned red and I got a distinct + on a first response early response HPT. I went to the clinic in a panic thinking my progesterone was low.  It wasn't. My HCG was 70-high for being so early. "Congratulations" they told me, "you're pregnant".  I didn't  feel pregnant.  4 days later I was  bleeding, my beta dropped to 20.  I experienced an early miscarriage or what they like to call "a chemical pregnancy".

October-December-A good long break before proceeding with our FET.  The one saving grace from our failed IVF cycle was that we got 3 frozen embryos.